1. Straining
2. Splitting
3. Cracking
I put the radio on at 0615. Snow. Ice. Chaos. By 0655 Son 1 aged 5y 3m’s school was on the long closure list. He was still asleep. Son 2 aged 2y 3m was up, eating his breakfast, eating my breakfast, deciding to go upstairs: “I go see Son Son orl right.” Son 1 got up, looking pinched and blue in his thin pyjamas. “Can we go outside and make a snowman?” The Man, excused running Son 1 into School, had helped himself to a lie in. When he got up he distracted Son 1 with the promise of taking the Christmas tree down.
One Wednesday Friend is snowed in, the other took her Son 2 and husband to the Museum. I got the boys out of the house and on to the ice to meet them for coffee. Talk about setting myself up for trouble. We left late, and I wanted to get there in time to meet up before they had to pick up a child they were looking after. Son 1 wanted to slide on the ice, and make snowballs, and take the snow off cars, and scrape the snow away to get to the pavement… and that was before he’d gone 10 yards. What is it about a wintry scene that makes a mother’s voice screaming murderously echo up and down the houses? We got there by piling him into his Big Pram seat and pushing madly through the falling snow. In the Museum cafe, Son 2 let out a Maximum-Volume-Both-Lung-Barrels-Shriek. A woman behind the counter winced and curled her lip. “You want to try living with it,” I said, mildly. “He can get much louder than that.” She hadn’t realised I was the Proud Mother, and was satisfyingly mortified. We had a good time at the Museum, came back, and then Son 1 decided he wanted to watch Peter Pan. We have about 5 Peter Pan DVDs, and he picked “Hook.” Mesmerised. And then, after a glorious two week period of Lego and Hot Wheels and Playmobil Knights, he got his pirate toys out and played happily.
We had the boys in bed for 1930, and I had a text from the Wednesday Mum saying she was going to the cinema with one of her friends. No idea what we were seeing, didn’t care. off I went. We’d planned to meet for a drink before, but the nearest bar is shut till next week. We watched “Cracks.” Never heard of it, although I just Googled “Cracks Film”, and it has 8,000,000 entries. Fashion, you are a Creature for People With Time. It was pretty and predictable, but ok. We went to a bar after. Empty. We bought drinks, sat down, and discussed Important Themes Related To The Film. Like could you ever be that thin if you never ate again, or is it just good genes? The bar suddenly filled up. Then a woman came round with laminated Karaoke songlists. Oh dear, we thought, they must have thought we’d come in to sing. Reader, after the first blast of Green Green Grass Of Home, we drank up and left.
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